When Snow Falls
by darknessflame89
Summary: Sitting in together in Okita's room, both him and Hijikata ponder on the wonders of snow after an attack from Souji's illness. (VERY slight shounen-ai HxO)


**Disclaimer**: sadly I do not own this wonderful anime or manga, though I adore Okita-san!

**Warning:** some slight shounen-ai may ensue.

**When Snow Falls**

**x**

**x**

Hijikata stared down at his hands, which were stained from the ink he had been writing with. He hadn't been paying attention, when a sudden shout had caught him off guard making his brush strike his hand. Standing, Hijikata placed his brush down on the stand, and walked to the door.

Shouts from outside could be heard, as the occupants seemed to be making way for someone, who seemed to be caring something heavy.

"Make way! Make way!" someone shouted, slamming open a door so the people could get through.

This had caught Hijikata's attention, which in turn led him out into the long hallway. He shivered as the wintry night air surrounded him in its entire splendor. Flakes of snow could be seen being blown around in the wind, and he sighed as he drew his arms up around him, and turned his attention to the crowed.

What he saw almost made him stop dead, or at least what he thought he saw, because he couldn't have been certain. He thought he had seen someone caring Okita, who appeared to be passed out. Hijikata went to take a step towards the room when someone called to him from behind.

"Hijikata-sama!" Yamazaki called, running up to his master. "There seems to be some trouble…" He stopped as he noticed the look on the other mans face. He was just about to say something when Hijikata walked past him, and into the room with the other leaders of the Shinsengumi.

X 

X

"Saizou." Okita said, gently picking up the pig who had just entered the room. His hands were shaking, both from the cold and the illness that plagued his body. Everything had been going well, until a sudden attack sent him to his knees, coughing hysterically. He couldn't remember anything after that, except for a brief moment when he was being carried into the house, away from the cold. It had been Hijikata standing in the hallway, a look of terror on his face.

That had only caused the boy to worry more. Had he indeed seen the man? And if he had why was he looking at him like that for? Did he find him repulsive? But then the next thing he knew he was in darkness again, and that lead him to where he was now.

Lately he had been having strong feelings for the man, and it always made giddy inside. He hated that feeling, a feeling of unease. It would be so simple if he could just dismiss these silly emotions, but no such thing was going to happen. He sighed, and laid his head down on the pillow.

Suddenly, a soft patter could be heard from the corridor outside, and the next minute the door was being pulled open.

"Souji-san?" A small voice questioned from next to the paper framed doorway. "Are you awake?" A short boy stepped inside, his brilliant fire colored hair was tossed from side to side from the wind, and his cheeks were painted a slight pink from the harsh cold outside.

"Are you ok?" He asked as he sat down besides Okita's futon. He brushed some of the snowflakes that had collected off of him, and turned to look at the man in front of him.

"I've been better." Souji responded as he smiled for the young man. Though it was the same smile he always gave something seemed wrong with it, as if it was painful for the man to do so. "So what brings you here Tetsu?"

"Oh!" the boy exclaimed as he shuffled through the bag he had been caring. "Here! I thought this would make you feel better!" he exclaimed as he shoved the book in front of him.

The small, thin, white book made Okita smile. Across the front in beautiful black calligraphy letters spelt the words, _'A Collection of Haiku by Hogyoku'_ "Thank you." He smiled, a less painful one then before.

Tesu got up, and turned to leave when a small noise from behind caught his attention. "Biku! Biku!" The little pig squealed, making Tetsu turn his attention back to Souji.

"Could you leave the screen open?" he asked weakly.

"Of course." The boy responded and left the room, his footsteps continuing for quite some time.

Okita sighed slightly as he looked out into the snow. It was so beautiful, but could be so deadly. The snow reminded him of the times when he would play with the neighborhood kids, with someone always watching him.

Slowly, Souji opened the book to the front page and found that a new entry had been made since the last time he had read the book.

"Gentle Crystals fall

Hiding the Earth from Darkness

One moment gone" He read out loud as a sense of calm over came the room

"I thought you may have been the culprit again." Came the low voice, which was currently leaning against the open door, and held a hint of amusement.

"Hijikata-san!" Souji cried, trying to hide the blush on his face. He watched as the older man walked from the door and settled himself next to the head of the futon.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked when all of a sudden his eyes turned cold. "You gave me quite a scare yesterday." He looked at the man, who in turn looked up to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry." Okita said apologetically, his head tilted to the floor. His body suddenly shook violently from the coldness that was creeping in through the window.

"Don't be." Hijikata said as closed the distance between the two of them, bringing his arms around the other. "Just… be more careful next time, I never want to see you like that again." His voice had gone low and his eyes were unfocused remembering what he had seen the day before.

:: _flashback ::_

It had indeed been Okita he had seen the men carry in. the thought made him tremble in worry alone, but the reason to his condition made him even more afraid.

After the dreaded meeting that Yamazaki had pulled him into had let out, he had headed straight for the room that he had seen the body being pulled into. The sight would probably haunt him in his dreams.

There on the floor laid Okita Souji, the Shinsengumi's number one swordsmen, reduced to almost nothing because of some stupid disease! His clothes were soaked from the melted snow on him, leaving his skin very pale from the cold, but that wasn't the only think stained on his clothes. There were also traces of blood down his front and on his hands. And what made it worse is that it wasn't the blood of the enemy, but of the man laying before him.

"Shinpachi, what happened?" Hijikata demanded.

"We were standing on guard, when all of a sudden, he just…collapsed." The boy said, his eyes forlorn and blank. His mind seemed to be recalling the events that had just happened but his moth seemed as though it couldn't convey his thoughts.

Hijikata went to say something, but all of a sudden the other man opened his moth. "Then he just started to have this fit." He spat out as if the word itself would attack him, "And all of sudden blood splattered up from his lungs and all over him. He passed out shortly after that."

The vice commander bent down for the bowl beside his fallen companion, and slowly reached his hand into the cold water. Bringing out the small towel from inside he wrung it out, and gently began his task of cleaning his ill friend.

_:: End flashback :: _

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" A soft, gentle voice sounded from beside Hijikata. The vice commander looked down at the boy and followed his gaze to outside of the room. There he saw the frail snowflakes falling from the sky, gently landing on the ground.

"I don't see what you see in them." He responded, unconsciously wrapping his arms tighter around Okita, as the cold drifted into the room.

"Well, they are fickle thing. They seem so pure and innocent, but in reality, they can be a deadly force too." The man said, gaining some of his spunk back. "They can bring happiness to a person, making them feel lighthearted and naïve. But then they can destroy someone, no matter how strong, can bring them down to their knees in a matter of mere seconds. Cold winds tearing and your next, and a feeling of insecurity that can rip you apart." Souji's eyes hardened, his head was pointed downward, so no one cold see the shame on his face.

"It can also make you feel humiliated." He said, his voice low and cold.

This had caught Hijikata's attention, and he quickly grabbed Souji's chin, and turned it up to look at him. The eyes of the man next to him showed nothing but disgust for himself, and the weakness he held. "No one blames you, and no one certainly thinks your weak." Hijikata said, his voice stern and commanding.

"But…" Okita started, but was silenced by the voice of another.

"I will hear no more of this nonsense." The man said as he kept a firm grip on the other's chin. "You are not weak, you have a strong soul, which makes you an even stronger person."

Hijikata slowly released his arms from around the man, shifting himself slightly he bent down and kissed the forehead of the man next to him. "Sleep." He said gently, as Souji rested his head in the lap of the vice commander.

They watched slowly as the snow fell lightly outside of their tiny room. Each flake danced from the sky, setting its own path to the Earth. Truly, it was only when snow falls, that one can be completely content, and believe in the innocence of such fickle things.

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**An**: Hello people! this is my first peacemaker kurogane fic, and I hope it was ok. when I wrote this, I had something completly different in mind, but then the story ended up writing itself, what a shoker. **please R&R**, so you can tell me how bad it was --


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